He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
