i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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