so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I died a long time ago.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
