Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
