The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
what day is it and did you see me today?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize