That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
