I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
