Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
