RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
