i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
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He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
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After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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