nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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