Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
