how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think my moral compass just broke
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
