It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Umm I'm too high to move.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
