So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Semen is not good for contacts.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
