But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
