Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
