Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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