you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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