its not stalking. its research.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize