i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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