i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
