You smell like a Billy Joel song
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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