chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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