Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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