i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
