a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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