What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
