i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
