She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
