what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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