4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
