i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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