honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize