That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
