How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
