I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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