if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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