I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
