whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
