guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
