you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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