I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
