he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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