Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
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The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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