Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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