She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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