if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
