WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
