Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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