forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
