I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.