I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
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Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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