Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED