i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
