I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
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I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize