i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
