If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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