Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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