I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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